the list

i finally got a job that will bring some moolah home :) im really hoping that i'd be able ta get my first paycheck before baby's birthday in october so i'd have cash to buy something nice for him. i actually am already eyeing something that i wanna get for him, but lets see if money comes in first yeah?

today saw me meeting up with my ex colleagues at far east and i had lunch with all of them. some of my ex colleagues had a promotion and they always never fail to count me in for such occasions. its really sweet of them.. :) hehe. well, i sat in the same table with the biggest boss in our department and we started talking about alot of things. he tells me that there seems to be plenty that i wanna do. i honestly think there are plenty of things that i wanna do too! hehe. well, perhaps i should really get a book and write down what i wanna do yeah. i really lack the focus in my career path now! haha. but yes, my boss was nice enough to tell me that audit firm is definately the best basis for people that are doing accounting. i do think so too and i really wouldnt mind working in an audit firm for a few years - even tho i heard that it takes the life out of you - but hey! which job doesnt? :) haha.

was complaining to J about how it seems like people around me could always afford lots of new stuff but i always seem to be having a hard time getting new stuff. i mean, which girl doesnt like at least something from every one shop that she supposedly enters on a window shopping excuse? :( sigh! esp now that im not working, money seems to be really out of reach. im gonna jus scrimp and save for the next few months - so friends, im so sorry if i cant go out for dates, turn to hawkers for dinner and lunch, cant do coffee too much. i intend to spend no more than $10 a day. i really do.. well, my parents have always educated me on the value of money, and its really hitting me real bad now when im really broke to my toes. yes.. im actually even contemplating if i should go for cable ski on sat.. its gonna take half of whatever money i have left in my bank account and i'd be penniless (well, lucky not penis-less) but yes... perhaps i could get my dad to sponsor! and its really sad that daddy's away in china for a business trip. my daddy's my little bank! =) hehe.

on to a different note, i wonder how there are such retarded jerks around me. its such a blessing ive gotten some ass off my friendster. its like in playschool. i dont wanna friend you. haha! but its really true. it disgraces me that i have you as a friend and that ure tryin so desperately to find someone to blame that u push ur loss of your girlfriend on my boyfriend's influential reputation in school. how loser can Nicholas Lim get? really? how loser can he get! haha. no balls.

next! yeah, i recently had a real bad fight with J and it ended up with me being in tears (trust me, tears aint exactly a powerful weapon of mine with my guy, at times!) you know how it hits you all of a sudden. all along you've been brainwashing yourself to believe that actually you cant take it anymore, that you cant be with this guy anymore and if it really happens, you wont be able to shed a tear over it? but fact is, you cry more than you expect, you hurt worst than menstration cramps (i finally get to fight it out with shaz and her uterus!)... well, things are settled now between us (what happens today is solved today - a firm theory i stand by for my relationships) but im jus hoping that i get to the root of the problem. there are quite alot of roots tho. Lack of time management (i dont want a weekend boyfriend :P but honestly sometimes i feel that i am. im sorry for being such an attention whore), lack of mutual understanding, lack of tolerance for mistakes, lack of my being able to take criticism... i honestly hate this guy. he makes me look at myself. and looking at him sometimes jus serves as a constant reminder of what my imperfections. facing one's imperfections is not a bad thing frankly speaking :) thanks honey bunny *smooches* i miss being by your side, snuggled up to your hugs and getting drowned by your kisses.

aights, im way too tired to type further. i miss everyone. i miss daddy dearest and J darling the most now. oh, please snuggle up in bed with me.. (puppy doggy eyes)